Parenthood is hard....

Why does parenthood have to be so hard? I feel like i am struggling to be a good parent. I have noticed that DS has been really acting out and I think its because of the changes going on around him. He started school this year and he is getting a new sibling. I have also noticed that he is very sensitive to change, so I am going to call his Dr and figure out what we can do.

I feel so bad, he is crying out for attention and I'm trying to give him a lot of one on one time and I have been trying to include him with all of the new baby stuff and have him help me around the house. He has really been out doing himself with being bad. He thinks that if he does something bad at least he will get some sort of attention from Asshole or Myself. I decided to cut out all of my Internet stuff. *This is more of my journal, so I decided to keep this and blog when the K's are sleeping.* I need to focus more on my kids because I always seem to get sucked into the Internet.

Asshole is still getting on my nerves. Even if I just look at him, I get that annoyed feeling. I'm trying to be nice to him but it seems like everything he does just sets me off. For example, DS was wanting him to go out and play with him but asshole was too busy watching the football game. Seriously?!? Your child is crying for your attention and you cant even take your shit filled eyes off the TV to go and play with your son. DD wanted to help him make breakfast this morning and he was getting mad because she was in his way. Your children want to hang out with you and do things with you, your barely home to begin with.. Just stop playing on the Internet or texting with your friends and play with your kids. They don't care if its just 10 minutes of reading books, playing cars, coloring or just wrestling on the bed.. They want that father bonding time.

I know I have had my fair share of bad parenting but I at least stop what I am doing so I can go play with the kids. I take them to the park when its not too hot outside, we go to target and get icees and popcorn or just make a fort and read books. Its the little things in life that they strive for. I got DS a Magnetic Calendar/Chore Chart that he can do daily and hopefully that will help him feel like a "Big Brother." We are trying to incorporate the fact that he is going to be a "Big Brother" again and that he needs to act like a big boy.

Lets hope everything works out for the better...

And now we are off to dream land...